Saying Goodbye
by NekoNeko636
Summary: Written for an Alicia Blade challenge. Rated for character death. When Usagi dies in an accident and leaves Mamoru alone, so what can they say when they finally see each other again?


Written for Alicia Blade's writing contest.

Guidelines-less than 5,000 words, has to contain a phantom/ghost/spirit in it.

If your interested go check her website alicia blade dot com

Disclaimer: Characters are from Sailor Moon. I've got nothing but the story line as my own sniff sniff

Angsty for a majority of it but it has a happy ending.

_Italic parts are written with Usagi, basically from her POV_

Regular text parts are with Mamoru, basically from his POV

I hope you like it!

--3rd POV

It had been a wonderful day.

Nobody could doubt that. The sun had been shining, not a cloud in the sky, not too hot or too cold.

The events that occurred that day had nothing to do with the perfect weather or the apparent lack of clouds though. The gods gave no signs or clues that on such a perfect day anything bad could befall anyone.

Especially not to such a carefree and loving person.

She had been having a wonderful day.  
--

She was just as beautiful as ever. He wished it wasn't as dark so he could see her more clearly.

The moon suddenly rolled into view as he had wished for. Silently thanking the gods for this small favor he looked at her again.

Her golden hair shone in the moonlight, twirling around itself slightly as it fell to the ground ending right around her ankles. She wore a bracelet around her right wrist. He had given it to her on their first date. Her dress was black; the skirt was short in the front and grew longer as it curved around her petite body. The tail of her dress fell to the ground behind her gracefully. The bust held tightly around her chest, slightly ruffled.

The scars on her leg seemed to climb around her like ivy. They were white and somewhat clear. Of course they were. It had been a long time since she left.

He then realized that her feet weren't touching the grass covered ground around her.

This didn't surprise him, she was already gone and he knew that now.

He had given up that pointless hope already.

He would admit though, there had been days after the accident where he would sit on his couch facing the door and actually expect her to walk in and say something like:

'Mamo-chan! Have you been sitting there all day? How about we go to the arcade together today? Let's get you off that couch Mamoru!' And with that, she would smile at him.

That contagious smile that she only used on certain people, the people she cared about the most. The last smile he had seen on her face. For a couple months he wouldn't let it get to him when she didn't walk through the door. He just thought:

'She'll be here tomorrow.' And with a smile to himself as he thought of her coming back the next day, he would go to bed.

--

_She wished the world would stop spinning. _

_She could smell gasoline all around her._

_The view from the window was amazing. So many colors flashed around her. She could faintly make out a quaint white house off in the distance. _

_A lamp post stood proudly in the front lawn, and a white picket fence surrounded the house, the paint slightly worn out and chipping. _

_A picket fence? What a strange sight to see in such a busy town. _

_The smell of gasoline was gone, now replaced by the smell of freshly cut grass. She felt herself moving closer to the white house, the gate adorning the fence opened slowly with a squeak, inviting her in calmly._

_What had she been doing?_

_That didn't matter anymore, all that mattered was going into the beautiful white house, and she longed to see what lay behind that fence._

_Where was she?_

_Looking down she saw she was on the side walk that led her to the house. It was slightly cracked in some places, it glistened in the sun._

_How long had the sun been out? She was sure it had been dark when she went out. _

_Out. She hadn't been going to this house. She had been with the man she loved. _

_Where was he now?_

_Turning away from the house she saw her answer._

--

On the one year anniversary of the accident he still had hope. If he were to go back to that time he would kick himself over and over again for not realizing that she was truly gone. He had held out such an intense hope for her.

He no longer had dreams of a princess coming to him asking for the Ginzuishou. Instead his dreams were filled with visions of her.

His beautiful Usako.

His real life princess who had stood beside him so many times before.

He couldn't go back to that time though. If he went back that far then the hope would return. That terrible heart wrenching expectation that knew just how to bind itself to his heart just as soon as it had left.

No matter how much he missed her, he couldn't do that anymore. He had spent the one year anniversary hoping. Just as he had spent the second and third anniversary. It went the same way every year. He would sit and wait, and when she never came, he would finally go to sleep with only his memories of her for company.

The first year Motoki and the girls went to her grave and spent the afternoon remembering her life with them. They had tried to get him to join them but the hope had prevented him. Refusing to let him admit to her untimely defeat.

The second year they came to him again. Proposing they do the same thing they had done the year before. Again, he declined cheerfully. He would sit at home again that day, waiting and hoping.

The next year went the same as the two previous years.

It was on the fourth year anniversary that his plans changed. They stopped coming to his apartment to ask him to come to Usagi's grave. That was the year he lost that hope that had clung to his heart so adamantly for years.

He still refused to pick up his life again, but he did go back to school at least.

He should have known that he couldn't run away from her for so long without repercussions.

He went out late on the night of the fifth anniversary of her death.

Somehow his feet had brought him back to the spot where it had all happened

--

_The place in which she stood looked as if she had stepped halfway into a tunnel. She stood in the middle of two worlds. Behind her she had seen a white house, with a freshly cut lawn. The house held a nostalgic feeling for her._

_She had longed to enter it moments before._

_But at the thought of her lover she then longed to know what she was leaving behind._

_In front of her she saw a man. Standing on street corner alone. He looked so sad and now the only thing she wanted was to run to him and comfort him._

_Turning around she took one last glance at the open and inviting gate to the house. She shook her head at it, as if it could understand her thoughts._

_Turning back to face the man on the corner she walked calmly towards him, hearing the gate slam shut behind her. She had just given up her chance to go into that calming house. A part of her hoped it would be there for her at another time, but for now all she wanted was to be near this man._

_She seemed to glide out of the tunnel as she approached him. _

_His back was turned to her. _

_She slowly slipped her arms around him and held herself tightly to his back._

_He looked slightly surprised by her movements. He still stood with his back to her, his arms resting by his side._

_Looking up into the night sky she heard him whisper something slightly to himself._

"_Usako…I miss you…"_

_She quickly jumped away from his back. Her heart felt like it was burning. Her head was spinning again. _

_The smell of gasoline returned. _

_The memories of her life returned._

_The memory of that night returned._

--

He had stood there.

On the street corner.

The only light came from the street lamp above his head.

There was a reason for his previous refusal of her death.

It was his fault.

It was that simple. His love for her took her away from him.

He had been driving that night.

She had just been so beautiful. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

The lights from the street lamps overhead lit her face in flashes.

One particular flash of light caught on her bracelet.

The very one he had given her the day he told her he loved her so many years before.

Intense loved had flooded into him. She had worn the bracelet he had given her.

The bracelet that showed his love for her beyond all measure.

She had looked up at him and smiled.

And then it had happened.

In what seemed like seconds they had crashed into another car.

She had turned to look out the window as the car flipped through the air.

For no reason in particular but to torture him, he had survived.

And she had died.

And he hadn't been able to protect her.

On that street corner.

On her birthday.

With the bracelet still on her wrist.

And a smile still on her face.

--

_She gasped desperately in a futile attempt to get air into her lungs._

_She hadn't taken a breath in 5 years._

_She had stayed in that tunnel, staring at that house for 5 years. _

_The time had passed by her like it was only minutes._

_But it hadn't been the same for Mamoru._

_Mamoru…her one true love._

_He had suffered so much because of her._

_If she had only left the house sooner…she could have been with him this whole time._

_She could have comforted him from afar. _

_But she had let the nostalgic feeling of that house hold her there. _

_She had almost let it take her completely._

_She let out a sob as Mamoru turned to her._

_Could he see her?_

_Did he even want to see her again?_

_No._

_He wouldn't want her anymore. _

_He had probably moved on already._

_She would just ruin his life if she stayed._

_She quickly turned away from him and pulled herself towards the first place she could think of. She would go to the place they had their first date. And then she would leave for good. She hoped desperately that the house would be there for her still._

--

He had followed her through the mass of trees and bushes that had grown around the small white house that held their first loving moments in it.

The roof of the house and most of the walls were missing. For their first date they had sat outside of the house's picket fence and just talked. Then he had given her the bracelet and they had been blissfully happy since then.

And now he's standing in front of her.

Years after their first date.

And Years after her death.

He couldn't help but feel guilty about what happened.

But for now he just wanted to be with her again.

He no longer cared about his guilt, his friends or his already torn apart life.

Without her, he had nothing that mattered anymore.

--

"_Mamo-chan…" she whispered softly into the night air._

_Part of her hoped he would hear her. But another part of her was afraid that he would hate her for leaving him. _

_He walked towards her; she could see love burning in his eyes._

_She smiled at him as he approached her. _

_She wished that he could hold her like before so badly._

_That they could go back to his apartment together and fall asleep in each other's arms again._

_He reached out to her and tears sprung to his eyes, which he visibly tried to hold back as his hand went through her._

_Usagi was crying for him now. _

_She didn't want to leave him all alone._

"_This will be our heaven Mamoru." Usagi said quickly through her tears "When it's your time,"_

_His mouth opened to interrupt her. Putting her finger near his lips she continued._

"_When it's your time and no sooner than that," She glanced around them slowly, taking in every moment of their time together "And if you still love me then you will find your way back to here. We will be together forever then."_

"_Usagi! I don't want to be here without you. I can't do it anymore. Without you here…without you I don't know…I don't want to be alone anymore Usako." Tears were silently rolling down his face; he made no movement to wipe them away just yet._

_She could feel herself slipping away already. _

"_I'll keep this with me the whole time I'm gone" Motioning to the bracelet on her arm._

"_And I will always be watching over you from our house" she said with a wink._

--

She was the one person he felt comfortable enough with to cry in front of.

His hand was still through her arm where he had tried to hold her.

Looking into her eyes he knew it would be difficult to live without her. But he would do it if it meant being with her in the end of it all.

"Will you be alone here?" He asked softly, pulling his hand away from her slowly.

That was the last thing he wanted. He never wanted her to be alone

"Not really, remember, I'll be watching over you." She dried her tears with the back of her hand "That way neither of us will really be alone."

He smiled at her eternal optimism.

"Alright. I will definitely come for you in the end." He caught her gaze and smiled encouragingly.

"Sounds like a plan." She said returning his smile, looking at her hands it became obvious that her time there was over. "See you soon!" She called to him with her beautiful smile adorning her face again.

He laughed again at her cheerful tone even though she was a spirit.

"See you soon my Usako."

--

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_Plz ? _

luv yall!

nekoneko636


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